Noelle Dreams & Beyond

cc is officially ours. Knew he was from the moment I laid eyes on him. So very, very happy it's finally done. Here is our beautiful boy, Caleb! And here is baby sister, Evan. This is the first time I've even opened my blog since that last post this summer. Crazy! No guarantees anymore I can keep this up. The only reason I can post right now is that Evan is actually sleeping WITHOUT ME!!! Almost never happens at night. She's actually going on two hours without me right now. AMAZING! And speak of the devil...there she is! Gotta go!

The most amazing thing happened on this date one year ago - our son found his way to us. cc, we celebrate you today and every day. You are an incredible gift, and we love you with our whole hearts. Thank you for the immense joy you have brought to our lives just in your first year of life. We feel so lucky to be your parents, and we look forward to all that is to come for our family. cc celebrated his first birthday last Tuesday, and we had a super fun party for him on Sunday. We had a birthday cake decorated with a puppy dog and balloons from Whole Foods that was beautiful and delicious, and we had 50 balloons that provided quite a bit of excitement for the kids. Those in attendance were all the little ones from his neighborhood play group, some of our dearest friends and their children, all the grands, several aunts and uncles, and cousins Savannah, Byers and Stacy. We took lots of pictures and video (who knows when it will all be downloaded and organized) and made some great ...

I'm now just over a week away from my due date, which is Valentine's Day. Miss Evan Rose will be here very soon! We feel ready, though we still need to do a few things like install her car seat. As of today I'm riding around with a towel in the seat in case my water breaks. I seem to be having a little trickling of amniotic fluid, which is exciting, but I guess it could be awhile yet before I actually go into labor. While I'm pretty uncomfortable, I'm enjoying these last days of pregnancy. We have prepared cc as best we can. How much can you really prepare an 11-month-old? We just give him lots of tlc (nothing different there) and his dada now sleeps with him every night on a twin mattress in his room. We figure we'll each sleep with a child for awhile. No biggie. We attempted forcing him to sleep alone a few months back, but it just didn't work. None of us were getting sleep, cc seemed traumatized, and we decided it just wasn't worth it. I r...

Just wanted to check in and say happy new year to anyone who happens to stop by. We are in the final stretch to the arrival of baby #2 with only 6 weeks or so to go. It's really hard to believe. We don't even have her room ready...actually we haven't even started yet! cc just keeps us so busy, and these days when he's sleeping or his dada has him, I'm sleeping. Just SO TIRED and so much to do! cc will be 10 months old in 2 days, and he continues to amaze us with his skillfullness. He's been walking behind a push toy ever since my mom gave it to him a few weeks ago as if he always knew how. He'll actually try to turn it when he runs into something. He occasionally says bye-bye and attempts to wave, and his fine motor skills get better every day - this requires me to keep the tiniest grains of dirt off the floor unless I don't mind him ingesting whatever he picks up. (We try, but our house just isn't that clean.) We have him sleeping on a tw...

I plan to post a pregnancy picture soon. Just wanted to say hi until then... I think November has been even busier than October! We have lots of projects in the works, such as the baby-proofing we didn't worry about until cc began crawling a few weeks ago. We also have a nursery to do and Christmas shopping and baby shower planning and the usual stuff that goes along with having a home and a family. I am forever sleep-deprived, especially since cc is in our bed again. (More to come on that front...I simply cannot let him cry it out as much as everyone keeps suggesting it.) I also want to say biggest congrats to our friends who recently got their referral from China!!!!

I just commented on a friend's blog that I don't have even a sliver of time to post to my blog, which is completely true, but I figured (at the risk of irritating my husband, who is probably ready for me to come back downstairs and co-parent again since I've now been on the computer for an hour) I would take just a few minutes to simply say GO OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For my kids, for the country, for the world. What an exciting day. And I'll also share that cc is wonderful and beautiful and oh so challenging. He's cutting teeth (has been for months, I swear, and those first bottom ones still haven't broken through), not sleeping well in his crib anymore so he's back in bed with us at night and often in my arms for naps, which means I can't accomplish anything, he cries when I walk out of the room every time, unless Chris is here or we have a visitor, and he grabs EVERYTHING within his reach, which then goes in his mouth if he can help it. He's almo...

Yes, Chris and I found out that cc will be getting a sister in February! We honestly couldn't believe it when the ultrasound technician gave us the news a couple of weeks ago - due to the multitude of men in Chris' family. A few people have pointed out to us recently that this really doesn't have anything to do with determining sex, so I've only been misinformed about this for the last 15 years or so! We've always thought we'd have boys if we were able to have kids biologically. Funny how life happens. We feel incredibly blessed and excited about having a boy AND a girl, who may be followed shortly thereafter by another girl! Yes, we're still pursuing our China adoption, and as you can imagine these days we're OK with the wait. :) We're thinking she'll come to us in 2010, but as always we really have no idea when. I can't believe I'm halfway through my pregnancy. We have so much to do before this little girl makes her grand entran...

I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. This is the first time I've been pregnant beyond 13 weeks, and now I'm over 14 weeks. I still have some nausea, fatigue and headaches, but it's all getting so much better. We've had several ultrasounds, and things are looking great in my belly - we've already counted fingers on this tiny baby! We'll find out whether it's a boy or girl in 4 weeks, and I can hardly wait. Most are betting it's a boy, and that's what we always figured it would be because of the literal sea of males in Chris' family. Either way, we'll be thrilled. I've chosen to have my prenatal care at the local birth center, which is a half hour or so away, and that is where I'll give birth with the assistance of a midwife. I feel really good about this decision, and Chris does as well. I have a number of friends who have given birth there and had wonderful experiences. I believe the baby and I are in very good hands. I h...

I have several pieces of very happy news: First of all, we are getting closer and closer to becoming cc's forever family. Recently our social worker said for the first time that we are being considered for his permanent placement. Hooray!!!!!! Chris and I squeezed each other's hand so hard when we heard this. What a relief. We're almost there, cc! Another exciting turn of events is that cc has begun sleeping through the night recently. He doesn't do it every night, but if he wakes up it's around 4am after having been asleep since about 7pm, and so we've gotten some good solid sleep by this point. If he wakes up before 5:30am, we're able to give him a bottle and then he'll go back down until 7am or so. If he wakes up around 5:30, he's often up for a couple of hours. So I actually can't decide which I prefer. I'm not exactly a morning person, though having a baby certainly forces you to try to be one. Either way, he's doing so we...

Even this post is spur of the moment, and I should really be doing other things. I don't know how moms find time to blog. This one sure can't. cc keeps me so busy - I can't imagine what it will be like with more than one! He is growing so fast. He turned 4 months old today, and as his pediatrician said on Monday he's more like a 6-month-old. He weighs over 16 lbs. and is 26 inches long. It seems he may already be teething as everything goes straight into the mouth, he's been fussier than usual, and he wants to gnaw on my fingers. He's rolling like a champ, and he gets really frustrated because he wants to be able to do more - like crawl! I'm getting really creative with baby games, and I'm using more "equipment" than I ever thought I would. He's just not a baby that can be happy lying down for long periods of time, even with toys all around. Currently we have 3 different bouncy seats (2 are from my sisters), a swing, 2 baby gyms, a...

I imagine someone reading my blog might question our desire to adopt cc. In other words, we may seem selfish. After all, foster care is supposed to be temporary, and the ultimate goal is to reunite parents and children. I can't say too much because of foster care regulations and because I want to respect cc's privacy, but I can say that his case is complicated, and right now there is no family for him to go home to. We are the only family he has known and will possibly ever know, unless something unexpected happens. And there is one other scenario - he could end up going to live with another foster family, who could end up adopting him. If that seems crazy to you, it certainly does to us. It's also really frustrating to know this is a possibility. If he's not going to be with his birth family we feel strongly that he should be with us and that we should be able to adopt him. As I said, it's complicated, but hopefully when it's all said and done, the jud...

I can't keep up with anything these days - not my friends, not my sisters, not housekeeping, not my business, not the news, not email, not my blog, not exercise, not eating right, not my gray hairs, not sleep - And not cc!! He is growing so fast. It's just astonishing. He's 11 weeks old today, and at times I swear he acts like he's a month or two older than he is. Over the last week he has begun rolling from his belly to his back, and for the last two weeks he has been laughing and babbling up a storm. Several days ago he graduated to a new diaper size. He's not a newborn anymore! At his last doctor's appointment two weeks ago he weighed 12 lbs. 8 oz. He gained half a pound in a week, so he's bound to be well over 13 lbs. now! He sucks on his fists all the time these days - early teething signs? I hope not, but I do wonder since he's drooling quite a bit as well. He is so engaged in the world around him. I wear him a lot and lately I've been letting ...

It's after 1 o'clock in the morning, but I am determined to post to my badly neglected blog before the sun comes up tomorrow. So much has happened in the last 7 weeks, it is unreal. Long story short - we have been fostering the most beautiful baby boy, who for the sake of anonymity in this blog will be called cc. This past Tuesday turned out to be a very good day. We found out cc will be with us for another three months after thinking he was going to be moved any day. Perhaps I will share more about this at some point, but for now we're breathing a deep sigh of relief. I am going to enjoy every minute of the next 90 days without worrying about any future point in time - this is my pledge! The last 48 days have been the most wonderful and beautiful, yet the most heartwrenching, frightening time of our lives. We have wanted to be parents for so very long, and on March 7 we were just going about our lives thinking it wasn't going to happen any time soon. I had even ...

A lot has happened in the last month, which is why I've been away from the blog. In short, I've been to heaven AND hell in a few weeks time. I'll post more specifics soon. Tonight I thought it would be cathartic to share a passage from Kahlil Gibran's THE PROPHET on love. It resonates loudly and perfectly with where we are right now... Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love." And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said: When love beckons to you follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest...