Noelle Dreams & Beyond

As adoptive parents, Chris and I have heard stories about all the questions we will get from people we know and from strangers when they see us with our children. It's important to be prepared for this because our children will be listening and looking to us for reassurance when folks (with perhaps good intentions) make rude remarks. Rather than coming up with my own post about this issue, I thought I'd copy an article from the experts. GRACIOUS ANSWERS TO AWKWARD QUESTIONS ABOUT OUR ADOPTED KIDS by Deborah McCurdy, MSW via Lois Paul of Help the Children When we adopt a child who looks different from us, we generally feel we can handle the stares and loss of privacy that go with the territory. We may find, however, that the frequent questions and comments of strangers and relatives sometimes annoy and worry us. At the heart of our anger and anxiety is the fear that our adopted child will be hurt by thoughtless questions, or that their older siblings, who look less exotic, wil...

Ok, I have to get on my soapbox for a moment. This weekend I attended a friend's wedding and of course got lots of questions and comments about the adoption. I appreciated all of this for the most part...until MONEY came up. What is the deal with people asking if it costs a lot of money to adopt (and sometimes asking how much)? We get this question more often than I care to say from people we know as well as from people we don't know! I realize that most people are simply making conversation. I just don't know why this has become the "How's the weather?" question to ask when making adoption small talk. I never know what to say. Yes, it's a lot of money. But it costs a lot of money to be pregnant and birth a baby these days, too. Nobody talks about that. The difference is that insurance doesn't cover the costs of adoption; however, there is an adoption tax credit, which helps. I'd like to add that it also costs of lot of money to buy a car ...

Another question we get quite often is, "Why did you choose China?" One part of the answer goes like this: Basically, China appeared to have the strongest international adoption program of the countries we researched. They've never had to stop the program since it began, with the exception of a few months several years ago due to the SARS epidemic. Other programs have quite suddenly and unexpectedly shut down, leaving adoptive parents without answers and with their dreams crushed. So this seemed like a pretty strong argument for China. Additionally, there are lots of agencies that facilitate adoptions in China, which speaks to the strength of the program, and the process is relatively clear, consistent and predictable. . .with the exception of the wait of course (though there's even some predictability there once you understand the process). We also read over and over again about the good health of the children in China. Most of them are born in the countryside, where...

When will Noelle be coming home? Chris and I get this question or some version of it at least five times a week. I'm not griping - just letting anyone who reads this blog know that we get this question a lot! We realize the reason people ask is because they care, and we truly are grateful. We're just a little worn out with the answer. The truth is we have no clue when we will be going to China to meet our angel baby. We only know that this day will come and that it will be a joyful one! At present, we're anticipating traveling in 2008, perhaps in the summer - just in time for the Beijing Olympics? Of course we were hoping to bring Noelle home this year, but signs are pointing to us traveling sometime in '08. If this changes, we'll be shouting it from the rooftops! -or at least from blogspot, so keep checking back here for updates. If you've asked us THE QUESTION recently, thank you for your love.