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Renewal

This past Thursday was a difficult day that turned out to be a very good day. After writing my depressing blog post, I had an acupuncture session, during which I was able to release a lot of sadness. Right after that while browsing in Ten Thousand Villages, I came across the following poem for the second time in recent weeks. (I figure I best pay attention.)


Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves...
Don't search for the answers,
they could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then, someday in the future,
you will gradually, without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer.

-Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926), Austria


Perfect lesson. Perfect timing.

Today I had another gift. I attended a silent retreat at my church with sessions of sitting meditation, yoga, mindful eating, walking meditation, and a long guided relaxation at the end. It was just what I needed, and I'm feeling like myself again, actually better! If you came to my pity party the other day, I hope you enjoyed it because I'm not planning to have another one any time soon!

I had an amazing experience while eating lunch in silence and practicing mindfulness with each bite. The concept that everything in this universe is connected is not new to me, and it's something I practice remembering in all aspects of my life. But today I felt it in a way that I hadn't before. As I was eating a delicious meal of salad greens with fruit, nuts and peppers, and hearty vegetarian chili, I began contemplating how many hands and how many lands it took to produce this food. The chili must have had dozens of different ingredients, all likely coming from different places. I imagined the journey of just one -- from the planning of the grower to the soil preparation to the planting of the seed -- to its growth in the wind and rain and sun, followed by its harvest, purchase and transport to market -- to its display in the market and its purchase by someone at my church -- and that person's preparation of this ingredient to be used in the chili, which was then cooked and brought to church and served to me. The energy that went into the production of that one ingredient and every other morsel of food I consumed is now within me. As I sat there trying to wrap my mind around the enormity of it all, I became overwhelmed with gratitude.

I received yet another gift as I was leaving the retreat. While walking to my car through a mixture of rain, sleet and snow, I passed by the homeless shelter and saw so many people standing on the steps waiting to go inside. Within moments I was in my car which would soon be warm, and shortly afterward I would be in my warm house. I thought about how fortunate I am while my brothers and sisters stand in the cold waiting for a space to open up to warm their weary bodies. I could just as easily be in their shoes. But I am not. I have a wonderful life, and I am so thankful.

I want to remember to give thanks daily - not just imagine that I do. I want to remember those who are suffering all over the world, whatever their circumstances, and pray daily that they live their way into peace and happiness. Finally, I want to remember to trust that if I keep moving my feet in the Now, I will arrive in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.

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